My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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