My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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