glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
