i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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