between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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