I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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