I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
