So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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