and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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