I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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