We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
