I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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