I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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