Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
