i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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