There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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