I don't think brook has ever known best
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
