Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
