Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
