i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
