Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
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