let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
