do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
