Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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