I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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