im about as happy as oj after his trial
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize