Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
