eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
