so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
