My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
