I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize