we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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