i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
