guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
