my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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