You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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