This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dick very happy bro
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
