There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
