just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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