You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
