I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
