so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
