dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it hurts more in the daytime
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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