He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
