Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
