My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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