You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
