Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
