nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
