How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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