get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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