I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
