haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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