I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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