Me too!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
