And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
