How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize