I just cut my nipple shaving
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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