so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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